I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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