im gay
i know
yea but for you.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
