may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
