Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
