respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
