we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
