That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Randomize
