it's too hot outside to masturbate.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
