it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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