Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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