I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
