did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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