the day after is always just damage control
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
