hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Randomize
