All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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