dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
