DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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