I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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