my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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