Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
