he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
