Is it normal to miss your booty call?
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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