i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
