Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Randomize
