Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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