Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
