my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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