my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
