Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Randomize
