Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Randomize
