Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Randomize
