I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
All I want is dick and wine.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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