Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Randomize
