I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
