he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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