i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
