I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
