Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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