We got so high we made milksteak
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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