i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
