toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
