You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Randomize
