I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
