I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
