can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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