new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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