Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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