Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize
