So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
