I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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