what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize