pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
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