What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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