"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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