So drunk, too bad you don't want this
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Randomize
