porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
