I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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